Everything Including the Kitchen Sync

Everybody hates Microsoft. I get it. Buy a Mac! Use Linux! Get an iPod! Zunes blow! Now that that’s out of the way…Microsoft Sync in ford automobiles rocks. Here’s what happened: I needed a four-door automobile due to the changing conditions in my life. I sadly and reluctantly traded in my beautiful 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo. I got hosed over on the deal, but what else was I going to do with the car? I have to get rid of it, and I did avoid having to make additional expensive repairs to it - and now I have a four-door vehicle, a 2009 Ford Fusion.

The vehicle came with two features that were semi-interesting but did not seal it for me: Sirius satellite radio and Microsoft Sync technology.

I have been enjoying the Sirius satellite radio, but mainly for the variety of channels. Most of the talk radio available is crap and some of the music stations are repetitive. It’s nice having the weather channels available, I just wish I lived in Boston, Philly, Phoenix, or San Fran (etc.) so I could actually benefit from them. The verdict is out on whether or not I will renew the Sirius subscription when the six-month introductory period expires. I will keep y’all posted.

The Microsoft Sync technology? Rock on! I haven’t figured out all the commands just yet, but I also haven’t read the guides. The buttons are intuitive enough that once you figure out how to hit your voice activation, you just sort of figure out what to say and when. The only thing my dealer helped me with was the initial sync to my bluetooth phone on the night I bought my car. All the rest of the commands and buttons I have figured out through trial and error. It has been pretty easy and the only struggles I had were in the beginning when I couldn’t figure out how to exit a menu easily.

All of the buttons you need are right on the steering wheel and to answer the phone you simply hit the picture of a phone on your radio (right next to your tuning knob).

What this technology gives you is hands-free cell phone communication while driving. Not only is it awesome, it should be required for any cell phone owners who wish to talk while driving.

Microsoft hit a home run with this implementation of their sync technology and it doesn’t require you to reboot your car, ever.

And if this weren’t enough, Microsoft is taking it a step further in their F-150s. It’s only a matter of time before our dashboards are merely an extension of our Facebook profiles. Imagine the update, “Bongo is heading south on 35W near exit 233B, Longitude 44.960699, Latitude, -93.269355.” Frightening? Yes, but hopefully there will always be an opt-out clause.

Tracey Ullman as Arianna Huffington

My favorite part of Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union is her Arianna Huffington impression. Here’s a clip from the first episode, and it only gets funnier. Blogs and kisses!

South Park does Grapes of Wrath

In last week’s South Park, an nation-wide internet outage triggers a mass migration to Silicon Valley. This clip is a hilarious parody of The Grapes of Wrath. I can’t figure out how to embed the video, but here’s the link.

Rudolph Remix

This isn’t quite how I remember it.

Produce Paradise Punks Pwned!

Produce Paradise
seemed like a funny, good idea at the time.

These kinds of things usually are pretty damned funny when you are doing them. In fact, especially if you are the one doing them! In days of yore, the video would have been recorded and shelved and friends would have looked back in later years and laughed about how idiotic they were at that age.

But this is the age of instant digital media! The Fresh Beets miscalculated wildly and are now facing a $1 million lawsuit.

I understand that they want to protect their brand and their image, but come on. $1 million dollars? Is that really going to show those punks who’s boss? What is the point of bankrupting these idiots?

All it will do is make the next group of fools who do something like this try to do it more legit - like by purchasing their veggies before filming. That way they will be able to argue it is their own property with which they are, ahem, performing.

Instead of suing them, A&P should be thanking them for the free international advertising.

That’s gotta hurt…

Sorry about posting an ebaum vid. I couldn’t find it anywhere else.

Anybody know if this is an actual video or some staged thing?

Naked Motorcycle Headstand Crash

Pearl Jam Censored by Corporate Thugs

The edited and unedited “Daughter” videos:

ATT alleges that a webcast vendor censored a lyric that was unflattering to President George W. Bush. Pearl Jam had this to say:

This, of course, troubles us as artists but also as citizens concerned with the issue of censorship and the increasingly consolidated control of the media. What happened to us this weekend was a wake up call, and it’s about something much bigger than the censorship of a rock band. AT&T’s actions strike at the heart of the public’s concerns over the power that corporations have when it comes to determining what the public sees and hears through communications media.

Pearl Jam has it nailed. Ever day something like this is allowed to occur in America, a piece of freedom dies. We must remain vigilant and alert to even the smallest erosions of liberty and free speech or one day those concepts will just be a forgotten memory.

Jailhouse Rock

Apparently it has become fashionable for prisoners to stage music videos and post them on Youtube. Here’s a take on Michael Jackson’s
Thriller:

Keep za monkeys away from his hands!

Anyone See Roger Ebert Lately?

He is going through some rough shit right now and the first pictures of him were released on the 24th. The Chicago Eightandfivers may know this already, but I just found out and was shocked. I knew he was going through an illness, but I had no idea. According to the Ebert-penned article, this is how it all went down:

What happened was, cancer of the salivary gland spread to my right lower jaw. A segment of the mandible was removed. Two operations to replace the missing segment were unsuccessful, both leading to unanticipated bleeding.

A tracheostomy was necessary so, for the time being, I cannot speak. I make do with written notes and a lot of hand waving and eye-rolling. The doctors now plan an approach that does not involve the risk of unplanned bleeding. If all goes well, my speech will be restored.

The article is a good read and he is facing his disfigurement and illness with great strength…