Quagmire Explains the Situation
Considering a protest vote?
Do the Republocrats running our plutocracy make you so sick you don’t want to vote for either major political party? Do you think we’ll all be better off if we vote for anyone other than Obama or McCain? If that’s what will be driving your political pulse as you head to the polls this fall, please reconsider.
You want small government and an end to war? Here’s $500 BILLION reasons that’s not going to happen anytime soon. If you want your Nader, or Paul, or whomever is the preferred politico, please reconsider what your vote will mean.
Do you want a symbolic “stick it to them” vote? Are you supporting a third-party because you really think your guy or gal will win? Do you want to disconnect from the political process altogether by NOT voting?
I support small government, but I expect the government to be capable enough to help out during emergencies.
I support lower taxes, but I expect lower taxes to benefit all people.
I support our President, but I expect our President to work with the other branches of government to make things better for all Americans.
If you’re considering a protest vote, I implore you to consider a historic vote. Make this year the first time in the history of your life and in our nation that you do not vote for a wealthy, white, man. Wealthy, white men have been at the helm for over two-hundred years now. It’s time to rock the world.
Think about it as the summer goes on. This campaign will get ugly. The lies will fly and the one thing they all want you to do is get disenchanted with the process so you don’t vote. If they can keep the folks away from the polls, then they only need to convince ~20% of the undecided voters to vote for their guy or not vote at all.
This election is too important to protest, it’s too critical to ignore. Another eight years of McCain carrying on Bush’s legacy and we will all be annexed by Canada. At least then we would have a viable health care system.
Snake! Snake! Snake!
This is about two minutes long. If anyone knows any of the history of this stunt, feel free to post. If not, just enjoy the vid!
Jedi Fanboi vs. Noob!
There is an odd line in the game review of Star Wars: the Force Unleashed over at the Wired.com blog. The author states,
“I don’t know much about Star Wars.”
I was taken aback. How the hell could they expect someone who is a self-admitted Star Wars Noob review this game? Are they seriously suggesting that it is OK for some jerk who doesn’t care about Star Wars to get a copy in advance, and then gets to offer opinions to the world on the game?
Oh hell no. That is not a good idea, that is a slap in the face.
Am I fanboi? Probably. But whether or not I am doesn’t matter. What does matter is some flippant jerk got to review this game for the entire world and he doesn’t really give two-cents about the Star Wars fanbois across the globe!
I am also a Lucas Arts fanboi. I have played a variety of games from back in the 1990s up until now. I have several opinions about the good, the bad, and the laggy. I have opinions about why some games were better than others, and why I skipped some titles altogether. (Mostly drunkenness).
I don’t generally flame how a company decides to do business, but the Star Wars franchise is just that, a franchise. Even if they secretly mock us behind closed doors while sipping latte and eating their granola bars, they could at least assign this gaming topic to someone who has at least a little consideration for the fanbois. That would be far, far better than some fly-by-night hack who can’t tell a Wookie from a Wendigo.
That’s Why I Choose to Only Shop From Skymall on a Plane
Normal stores stuck on the ground, they strike me as mundane.
That’s why I choose to only shop from Skymall on a plane.
I’ve got a watch that sets itself with satellites in space
And glasses with a fifty inch TV for on my face.
My luggage is the kind preferred by golfers who are pro.
In my my pocket there’s a GPS to tell me where to go.
My grill at home’s accessorized with lights and other things,
Like a doodad on my belt that when my steak is done it dings.
A hanging upside down device keeps my back from getting sore
But when it is I’ve got a plastic stick to rub it more.
I have a toaster oven that’s designed by Wolfgang Puck
And an underwater vacuum–what an extraordinary suck!
My vest has weights. My pet-foods timed. My shoes have built in springs.
I’ve hundreds of alarm clocks, one shoots helicopter things.
There’s a device that’s made specifically to help me fall asleep,
A whooshing sound or waterfall, it sure beats counting sheep.
A stress reducing wrist band that needs a battery.
A pair of golfing glasses make my balls easy to see.
My bike fits in a back-pack1 that I wear when I can’t ride
Like when I walk to aerate my lawn with spikes on my shoes outside.
Speaking of lawns mine’s always well lit for my lights have solar powers.
The sun also charges a vibrating thingy that keeps the moles out of my flowers.
The walk to my house has a gazing ball that’s twenty-three inches and glows
And you can’t tell how I water my grass ’cause a flower pot hides my hose.
I’ve got a step to help my dog get up into my bed,
A gate to keep him from the kitchen, an urn for when he’s dead2.
My golf cart looks like an Escalade1, it cost me twenty grand.
There are hanging seats I hook on my truck, when I tailgate I don’t have to stand.
For my wife I’ve gotten a lot of things like roses dipped in gold,
and her make up mirror has a light so she won’t look so old.
The largest crossword in the world, the smallest helicopter too.
A Star Wars traveling battleship game and litter robot for poo.
A robot shark and floating black jack game–My pool is full of shit!
A little boat that brings the drinks to the chair in which I sit.
Theft is no concern of mine. I’ve cameras all around
And a folding ladder just in case my house is burning down.
There’s a spot on my mantle for Harry’s wand and other wizard things.
I’ve also a copy of Frodo’s sword ’cause he’s the Lord of the Rings!
There are handles for my toilet so I don’t fall down when I poop
And life is so much easier with a heated ice-cream scoop.
A robot Elvis talks to me and sings at my command.
Oxidation I fear not with my rustproof towel stand1.
Believe you me, I’ve got more things, this list is only some
But my plane is boarding. I’ve got to fly! SKYMALL HERE I COME!
1 This used to be in skymall I swear… they must have stopped selling it.
2 Not actually sold by skymall… slackers.
Jeopardy! Brainbus Visiting MN
If your ego is bigger than your brain then mark Friday on your calendar! Hell, if you just want to have fun or see if you can hang with the local competition, you’ll want to stop by the Mall of America to test your brainpower mettle under the pressure of competition!
Date: Friday, March 7, 2008
Time: 5:30pm – 7:30pm
Location: Mall of America, Sears Court
It looks like they’ll give out prizes, host “just for fun” games and also present pre-screening for auditions to get on the actual show. Want your fifteen minutes of fame? Can’t sing? Got no other talent?
Your quest for glory could start Friday! You could be the next Ken Jenningsor Brad Rutter,but get your buzzers ready, you can’t answer unless you ring in first!
Three Ways to Improve Rock Band
I’ve been playing Rock Band for a few weeks now and I’ve concluded that it’s a great social game. However, it could be improved. Here’s how:
1 Multiple instrument support. If a song has two percussionists we should be able to use two drum sets. Same for two guitar songs and especially for backing vocals.
2 Different peripheral support. I don’t just mean the keyboard device. I want dance pad support for dancers. Light gun support for security, it could be a taser to keep the crowd from rushing the stage.  Camera support for gratuitous groupie flashing. Rob the Video Robot support for… well… I don’t know but you get the idea.
3 More diverse music. After looking at many of the forums about the downloadable content for Rock Band I’ve determined that I’m the only person on earth excited for the Grateful Dead pack (all 18 songs–I’d even take different live versions of each). I still want more diverse stuff though. Especially the BEATLES. I want every song recorded by the Beatles. They could be released chronologically, a couple songs at a time or as one giant pack… whatever, just give me every Beatles song.
Google Trent Lott and Benjamin Nicolas to Find Out Why Trent is Resigning
My experience with the Xbox 360
About two weeks ago I received an Xbox 360 for my birthday from my wife. She did a lot of research and got a really good deal on a refurbished machine with an extra controller and a copy of Halo 3. Now, I know that 360s are notoriously unreliable and one might immediately assume getting a refurbished machine is a bad idea, but the reduced cost and the supposed elimination of the red-ring-of-death problem (that’s what they refurbish) made it seem like a good idea.
Once opened I immediately activated Xbox live and went to a store to pick up a game with the 25$ gift card that some friends had given me. I expected to get Gears of War or Crackdown because they’ve been out for a year–I was wrong. The used version of each was pushing 50$ which I found astonishing. It turns out that triple-A 360 titles are holding their value as much as triple-A Nintendo titles (go try to find a used copy of Smash Bros or Mario Kart). The only good game that I could afford was Dead Rising by Capcom. I think it was a launch title and it was still 30$ so I had to pay a little. I’d never played the game before but I know it reviewed well and I trust Capcom with zombies. The game turned out to be great (lawn mower + zombies = awesome), I had a fellow eightandfiver over and we played passing the controller. We also played a little halo but the game isn’t that good to watch and my wife was playing with us and wasn’t a big Halo fan. We actually ended the night playing Super Mario 3 that was just made available on the virtual console–score one for the Wii.
Within the next week I had gotten Bioshock and Orange Box through game fly. I also had Gears of War briefly but there were too many new games to play before I went through the catalog. I sent it back and got Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles (another good Capcom game, this time for the wii, also with zombies). I also managed to throw down a reservation for Rock Band that involved trading in an assload of games to get to the $160 and the last 360 reservation available at the GameStop I shop at.
Bioshock was great, although with Orange Box I had trouble committing to it, I’m sure the significant other and I will get around to it at some point. I put a lot of time into portal and even started replaying Half-Life 2. Damn these are great games. I had trouble playing team fortress 2 because all my multi-player time was going to Halo 3 (also a great game). I really felt like I had in the heyday of the PS2 when we had just tons of great stuff all at the same time (GTA, SSX, Burnout, Katamari…). I was in heaven—and it was during a game of portal just after I got the weighted companion cube that my 360 froze for the first time.
I restarted and started to play Half-Life 2 and got pretty far when it froze again (thank god for tons of auto saves). This time when I restarted the 360 it was flashing red. It was the standard red-ring-of-death that a refurbished Xbox isn’t supposed to get. I know this because the towel trick worked. The problem lies in some solders that fail to connect. The towel trick involves wrapping the console in a towel to deliberately overheat it so the solder expands and connects again. A temporary fix at best.
The real downer was that the next day I got to pick up Rock Band and then leave the house and spend thanksgiving in North Carolina (where I had a marvelous time). I got back on Sunday ready to try the 360 again, with the towel trick if need be, to finally get to try out the killer rock band drums… I couldn’t get past the title screen.
I managed to get a hold of the company that refurbished it and get a return authorization. They were really responsive and allowed me to keep the hard drive and all other accessories. The system is currently in transit to them, they’ve assured me they have a quick turnaround time and that they’ll mail off another system within a day of receiving mine.
I hope I get it soon. I’m afraid my weighted companion cube is going to miss me.
Calling out Coulter
This week on Hardball with Chris Matthews, Elizabeth Edwards called in and asked Ann Coulter to focus on the issues instead of reducing politics to personal attacks. Not only did Ann Coulter decline to acquiesce to Elizibeth’s request, but she couldn’t even attempt to debate anything with Elizabeth. Instead, Ann just went to her “talking points” and repeated standard neocon and Republican smear tactics to try to distract from what could really be an actual debate of issues. The Republican smear campaigns will never stop.
When politely asked to refrain from her personal vendetta, Ann wouldn’t even acknowledge her history. Ann’s failure to recognize her loathsome behavior reinforces what she really is: a Punditainer. Coulter is one who only cares about the issues insomuch as it will improve her ratings and make her paycheck fatter.
If she were a serious political pundit, one might actually value her opinion and possibly even agree with some of her talking points. But she is not serious about anything real. She is merely a mouthpiece to energize the base.
When confronted with reality, with a one on one questions from a fellow citizen, she simply went back into attack mode and did what all good little Republicans do: Smear! Smear! Smear!
Shame on you Ann Coulter. Keep selling your soul. Old Scratch is waiting!