Scientists have announced that a new rock floating through space, Gliese 581 c may be a habitable planet. If this is the case, we will need to start thinking about ways to get there. Hell, we’ve been thinking about it as a species for years but we need to put aside social and political differences and really work toward finding a way to migrate to a new habitable planet. We don’t even need to live there really. We just need to be able to grow food on the planet until we find more planets capable of sustaining life.

Once we discover a planet capable of supporting farming, we can send our robo-workers to do do all the heavy lifting and humans will make future livings as Teamsters. Only we’ll all be piloting space ships delivering foodstuffs and repair parts back and forth. Ice Pirates anyone? It may have been an entertaining farce in 1984, but if we as the human race want to go out with a bang, not a whimper, then we really need to start making real progress into deep-space exploration and migration.

We need inter-galactic spaceships capable of traversing millions of miles a la Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek.

Think of it as science fiction if you must…but things change. Sometimes, fantastic stories that were once considered fiction lead to discovery.

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So what if it was the creepy little girl in Poltergeiest who orginally uttered those lines. We may all be saying those words soon enough. While Interplanet Janet’s visit to O’Hare was reported around January 2, 2007, and now we have people in several Midwestern states spotting fireballs or bright lights.

When it’s Danger-Cold, people should just stay inside and try to stay warm! If you wander too far in the bitter cold you will see many things. Especially if you are spending your nights staring at the sky watching for little green men.

Ever since Icarus flew too close to the sun we have had people spotting dragons, mermaids, ghosts, whatever.

The easy way to avoid seeing things flying around the sky is to simply get out of the house and interact with other humans. It helps prevent seeing things when cabin fever sets in after five months of sub-arctic temperatures.

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This past week we have been viewing a DVD of what is sometimes called “My Name is Kim Sam-Soon”. If you want to check out this series, you will need to search for “My Lovely Sam-Soon”. The MBC website offers a free download of Episode 1 so you can check it out and see if you are interested in the series at all.

Wikipedia compares this series to a Bridget Jones’ Diary kind of plotline because the lead actress had to gain fifteen pounds in order to assume the role of the fat girl.

We are currently just over halfway through the series and in this article I will discuss some of the cultural and themes things I have noticed.

By American standards, Kim Sam-Soon is thin. She is not as thin as one of her co-stars, but she is by no means ugly. It is almost like the ABC series Ugly Betty in that everyone seems to think the lead character is a fat hog when in fact all the regular folks watching can clearly see that this is not the case. If you disagree with me, just take a trip to your local Wal-Mart and check out the Hoggers in line. Don’t get too close or they could mistake your fingers for a Zinger.

The series provides a glimpse into Korean pop-culture. The series opens with Kim Sam-Soon on a date getting dumped by her boyfriend. She runs into the restroom to cry and ends up going into the wrong restroom and yells at the person knocking on her door. The person knocking on her door is Hyun Jin-Heon. Hyun Jin-Heon happens to be the son of the restaurant owner in which Kim Sam-Soon was being dumped and he also runs the restaurant. Incidentally, Hyun Jin-Heon had a girlfriend who left him several years ago so both of our heroes are single…

Kim Sam-Soon is also a certified Pastry Chef who studied in Paris. Hyun Jin-Heon has been seeking a good pastry chef.
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In the Twin Cities, 73-year old Gerald Haley of Coon Rapids, MN has made the news for shooting and killing a home intruder. The intruder in question was a 17-year old neighborhood kid named Anthony Parks.

This is a tragic story, and what is even more tragic is that Gerald Haley will not be charged with a crime. He should at least be charged with involuntary manslaughter or some other lesser crime. While I do not think he should do jail-time, I believe he should be punished.

It is not proper for a homeowner to shoot first and ask questions later.

I have no idea what I would do in Mr. Haley’s situation but one thing is certain: I would not shoot anyone. I own a hunting rifle but I have no bullets. If I am going to attack a home intruder, it will be with a six-foot stick or a survival knife. Possibly a coat hanger.

But to think that a homeowner has the right to shoot to kill without regard will only harbor a mindset that it is acceptable to kill people on your property. The dead boy’s step-mother goes as far as to say,

If someone walked into my door and it was dark, I would empty my clip, too. He didn’t know they were kids … or if they would shoot him. We feel really sad that this happened.

It’s not sad that this happened. It’s sad that this will happen again.

Punishing Mr. Haley may not prevent this from happening again, but it might make someone think twice before pulling the trigger.

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So, I’ve only been out of college for a few years. Until today, I have avoided working in my very own Cubicle. Straight of school I had to share an office with an older women who had allergies and coughed all day, BUT it was a corner office with a lot of windows. After proving myself as an asset to the company they gave me a spacious office, with a window, and even let me put this up on one of the walls. It was a great little company, but several things made me need to leave it.

After taking down my mural, autographing a few pieces and leaving them for my coworkers, I went out looking for new opportunities. This time around I had half a dozen companies eager to get me into one of their Cubicles… I really had no choice.

After hoping around within this office for over a month, borrowing cubicles, they’ve cleared one up… JUST FOR ME!

So at this point I guess I’m looking for advice. I’m only on a contract, so I know that I have an easy way out of this Cubicle in about 10 monthes. What can I do to make the hours between eightandfive a little more bearable in here. (more…)

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The goddamned Jesus freaks are beating on my door. They want to come in and ram a bottle of 100% pure salvation down my throat even though they know it will kill me. I saw one last week following me. At first I thought she was just another chubby girl who wanted to sleep with me. It happens you know. It has something to do with my girth and my penchant for telling them I love them. It’s not that I love them specifically…it’s just that I love ALL women. It’s not like I try to get them to follow me, they just do. I ran down the street - very slowly. After all, I am a fat man. I slowly scurried down the street and ducked into the nearest Wal-Mart. One thing was certain…if she followed me in she would find plenty of soulless bastards to save and would soon forget about me. That’s not quite how it worked out. They descended on my house around 7am tonight. I was settling down for a mellow evening of Monday Night Football. For grins and giggles I put on some easy listening jazz music in the background and I was going to read some Heinlein. It’s not that I subscribe to his political ideas but the world would be a hell of a lot better off if we could keep the goddamned Christians out of our fucking politics and let Veterans of actual WARS run things awhile! You wouldn’t find us caught in any quagmires with any social or political fallout because they would FUCKING THINK about an end game before they committed young men and women to DIE in a foreign land. That reminds me, who’s going to gang-bang Lulu when we’re all overseas? I hope some skinny peckered civilian is up to the task. They all make me sick, but at least they don’t try to pour Salvation down my throat in the guise of cheap wine and flatbread. Initially, I opened the door. When I saw their flaming eyes and the black flesh falling away from their skin, I screamed, slammed the door and locked the deadbolt. It wasn’t what they expected. They knew I was in here. They have been tracking my movements possibly for months. I lit a cigarette. I don’t smoke, but I hoped the smell of fire and brimstone would scare them off. It only increased their presence. I heard them calling someone. I got the garden hose from the basement and hooked it up to the washtub. As they were prowling about outside I opened one of my basement windows and sprayed them screaming, “Get the fuck off my property! I’m a fucking Buddhist! I don’t want to be saved!” They screamed and hollered, “Jesus is the way!” I yelled, “Fuck you!” They started singing Amazing Grace and moved away from the range of my water hose. I yelled out that my soul was lost in the desert when I was alone. I was walking along a forgotten dune in a forgotten country and I was nearly out of water. I came across a small dog who said, “I am here for your soul”. I told him to get lost. He did…but not before he bit me. It hurt like hell. The only pain comparable is a rotting tooth. The pain of a rotting tooth will make you wish for death. It will make you want to take a dry stick and pound it into your mouth in order to drive the rotten tooth from your gum-line. If you’re lucky…you will accomplish just that. If not, well…you die. I scrambled up to my attic where I could observe the Christians lurking about the shadows. They’re still there. I think they’re channeling the squirrels to spy on me. That’s kind of weird and sort of witchcrafty… I wouldn’t expect Christians to resort to voodoo but in this time of Salvation they’ll try any damned trick. The end apparently justifies the means. I don’t know what I am going to do. I am digging in. I have a water supply. I have food. I have a secret entrance. I don’t want to use it except as a last resort. Once I use the secret entrance they’ll know where it is and they’ll be waiting for me next time. It’s not that I don’t love them. I do. I really do. I love them more than they will ever love Jesus. I just despise their tactics. They’ll lie and cheat because to them the end really does justify the means. It’s not going to happen. I am locked in and loaded for bear. They’ll never take me alive.

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I was late today. Again. I really detest working in a giant company with different local business names all over the country. It drives me to do crazy things like connect to random printers and clear all print jobs. Just to be a dick.

My giant company purchased another company earlier this year.

My role in my giant company is being redefined. Usually this means bad things. Especially if you like to pay your mortgage. I have been preparing for this. My resume is current. I got some shit up on Monster.com. All my bills are current. I have been researching a home equity loan in the event I have to do a job search.

I got pulled aside today.

My boss and someone I didn’t recognize sat me down.

I think I was still drunk.

I was definitely hung-over.

I smelled like malted hops and barley. Possibly rum. Well…probably rum.

They told me things in the company are changing. My team was changing. My services would no longer be required in the new team structure.

I thought, “This is it. This is what being laid off feels like.” I prepared to bitch-slap them both. I figured, “Fuck it. If I go down, I am going down swinging. I’ll show these fuckos not to mess with a mentally unstable war veteran!”

Then they told me they needed me to move into the Wireless Technologies group. They said the manager in that group likes me and that they want me to stay with the company and hoped it would be acceptable to me since they knew I was no longer challenged by the current tasks I am routinely required to perform.

So it is kind of a lateral move title-wise, but I will get to do things more exciting that will look much better on a resume.

And I still get to pay my mortgage.

Yay!

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Last night my wife and I went to the Minnesota State Fair.  We outlasted the downpour in the shelter of the building across from the Horse building.  While we waited for the rain to subside, we even got to enjoy Hotdish-on-a-stick!

We ran into Robert Fitzgerald also.  He is in the IP booth right next to the Cheese Curds on Dan Patch Ave.  He is looking pretty scrawny nowadays.  Politics must have its vampyric embrace on him.  Hopefully he will fatten up once it’s all over.

We headed to the show around 7pm and found out that they cancelled Magic Numbers and that Sonic Youth would start at 8:20pm followed by Flaming Lips.

I am not a fan of any of these bands.  I wasn’t familiar with the music and I didn’t want to stand for three hours in the rain.

The show was freakin’ awesome.  I enjoyed Sonic Youth rocking out and Flaming Lips interrupted their set to let Magic Numbers play a coupel of songs…since they REALLY wanted to play for us.

I am an official convert for all three bands now.

I am secretly a fan of live music so I was pre-disposed to have a good time, but the repport established by the musicians last night - in spite of the deluge - was magical and I am very glad I gutted it out. 

I have a couple of questions though:

Has anyone else attended a show reluctantly only to be converted to an actual a fan by a stellar live performance? 

What does Flaming Lips mean?  Does it mean they sing so awesome their lips are on fire??  Or does it mean they dated a girl with a scorching case of Gonorrhea?

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If you like vacations as much as I do, then I highly recommend Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada.  Banff has it all.  It is nestled in the Canadian Rocky Mountains and is just a short drive from Calgary, Alberta.

Our week in Alberta began in Canmore.  We stayed at the Lodges at Canmore which is a fairly pricey lodge unit with laundry facilities and a full kitchen.  We saved a lot of money by cooking in our lodge apartment for four days.  There is an awesome view of the Three Sisters Mountain range right outside your room – and fortunately we were on the correct side of the building for a perfect view of the Three Sisters.

Our week took us to Banff National Park where we did the Johnston Canyon hike to the Lower and Upper Falls.  The ink-pots were 4k and we almost attempted it, but figured that a 4k hike back from the ink-pots may have just taken too long (or killed us).

We rode the Banff Gondola to the top of Sulphur Mountain and we basked in the Sulphur Mountain Hot Springs.  For lunch that day, we dined like rock stars at the Fremont Hotel in Banff.  The only more impressive than the price of the buffet lunch was our view.  The food served for the buffet was definitely the highest quality of any food I have ever seen in a buffet – and was better than most restaurants in which I have dined. (more…)

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