18 Things you won’t see on a billboard: #1 Your Parents Chose Sex. Shouldn’t You?

While driving through South Dakota recently I was struck by the amount of pro-god, anti-abortion and pro-abstinence signs. The person driving with me and I started talking about how best to combat this sort of religious propaganda. We decided that a billboard campaign mirroring the existing campaigns would be best. Following are the anti-abstinence ads we came up with. Some are modeled after the signed-by-god billboards, some after the anti-abortion signs we encountered and some we just thought would make good billboards. The following text is not safe for work.

Imagine coming across these billboards next time you drive through the bible belt:

1. Your parents chose sex. Shouldn’t you?
2. Abstinence sucks. –God
3. Everyday somebody dies a virgin.
4. I’m proud of your last orgasm. –God
5. Abstinence prevents a beating heart.
6. Making babies is cool. –God
7. Do you like to look at naked people? Thank you. –God
8. Stressed? Fuck. –God
9. After healing lepers, nothing beats a good screw. –Jesus
10. Make a joyful noise when you come. –God
11. Abstinence is murder.
12. Do others as they do you. –Jesus
13. DVDA! –God
14. Someone wants to have sex with you. –God
15. Put your pointy bits into each other. –God
16. After a shower a rim job can be fun. –Jesus
17. If I didn’t want you to have sex I wouldn’t have given you a cock. –God
18. I don’t exist. –God (not abstinence related, I just thought it was funny)

Bizarre Google Earth Find In China

Leave it to the freaks who spend hours upon hours exploring the world via Goggle Earth. Some dude found this while searching the deserts of China for who-knows-what.

The articles do a better job of explaining what the find is and what it represents, but why? There is a lot of speculation in the Google Earth Community message boards, but it just seems so bizarre.

That said, what an undertaking this must have been and it proves that the Chinese Army is huge! I wouldn’t want to see the U.S. involved in a land war with China, methinks it would be a disaster. I wonder if there is a scale model of any U.S. landscapes in China?

And then things get even more strange when someone in another discussion finds this Google Earth link. What the hell is going on? The markings on the ground have to be gigantic. Hell, it almost looks fake.

Too Many Good Stories Today

I’ll lead off with an interesting story on Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist. You may remember Frist from such hits as: “She certainly seems to respond to visual stimuli,” in the fiasco involving Terri Schiavo this past spring. Well, he is at it again. While on a “fact-finding” mission in Afghanistan, Frist said that he believes the Afghan government needs to “bring ‘people who call themselves Taliban’ and their allies into the government.”

Yeah, and all those U.S. and coalition troops who spent years and blood rooting the Taliban out of Afghanistan did it why?

Second story involves urban planning and how two American cities are taking different approaches to it. The Christian Science Monitor has a great story on how both Portland, Ore., and Gilbert, Ariz., are approaching growth.

Which city has the smartest plan?

The final story involves a recent survey in the USA Today on what career young people aged 12-17 are seriously considering. The Austin Chronicle has a story on the results. They may surprise you. What career won out? Lawyer? Nope. Engineer? Nope.

Try the arts.

Not Her Day

Lia woke up Sunday morning thinking the day would be like any other Sunday at the track. Little did she know how wrong she would be…

Track and field line judge Lia Mara Lourenco is helped after a javelin hit her in her foot during “Brazil Trophy,” a national track and field competition, in Sao Paulo, Brazil, Sunday, Sept. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Jonne Roriz, Agencia Estado)

Smoking Ban

I don’t smoke. A smoking ban starts on 4/1/2006 at midnight. That’s Friday at Midnight for those of you who will be at the bar.

But since I am generally a public nuisance in every sense of the word, what if I stood outside the establishment, lit up a big fat stogie, then walked in with my own ashtray and just let the cigar burn for the next hour without ever putting it to my lips?

If it is a smoking ban and not a burning ban…could I get away with it? Would I be charged with arson or reckless endangerment for burning something inside a public building?

I’ll just shut up and go drink.

Last Train to Urville

Urville is the creation of lifelong urban planning-obsessed Gilles Trehin, a 28-year old Frenchman who describes himself as having either autism or Asperger’s Syndrome (Asperger’s + French = God with a cruel sense of humor). Starting with Lego’s in 1984, he has spent his life creating incredibly detailed views of this imaginary scientific outpost in Antarctica. Interestingly, he also has very detailed writings concerning the history, geography, culture and economics of Urville.

Via Kotaku

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