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Researchers in New Zealand are reporting that one joint has air flow obstruction equivalent to five cigarettes. The research cites the methods in which marijuana smoke is inhaled versus the filtered methods for inhaling cigarette smoke as well as how long the inhalation is held as factors contributing to the differences in marijuana smoke and cigarette smoke. One nug that I found interesting about the article is in the middle of the following statement,
To qualify as a long-term marijuana user, participants had to have smoked a minimum of one joint a day for five years, said institute director Richard Beasley, who also participated in the study. Tobacco users had to have smoked a pack a day for one year.
It doesn’t mention in which category Mr. Beasly participated, but if I were doing the research it would probably be fun to be in the “long-term user” category. It struck me as humorous that what seems a pretty serious and professional study was directed by a study participant. I wonder if they got grant money to grow giant greenhouses of dope so they could smoke it for five years?
I guess that’s one way to beat the system.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world. It’s a jungle out there. It’s now what you know, it’s who you know. It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow. All of these clichés are valid if you work in a cubicle farm. If your cubicle farm exists in a giant corporation with lots of subsidiaries, then these clichés ring truer than any sane person would ever want. If your giant corporation rewards profit generation over actual ethical and valid work performed, well, that is another post entirely.
This post is about cubicle ninjas.
I am a cubicle ninja. I didn’t used to be a cubicle ninja. Previously to honing my powers of observation and my stealth techniques, I was merely a white collar professional who rolled with the punches. One day, there was a punch I realized I could not roll with.
A person whose attention to detail includes how people arranged things on their desks relocated to our building. My desk is and has been organized and clutter-free, but other co-workers have gained the ire of this member of the management team due to their messy desks. Other negative comments and actions have been directed around to my peers from this member of the management team, and I have tried my best to avoid this individual at all costs. There was one problem:
My avenue of escape from the Cubicle Farm went right past this leader’s cubicle doorway – my cubicle hallway actually ended right at his doorway. I had a single angle of sightline blockage I could use to my advantage, but it would take all my skills of stealth to make sure I passed by soundlessly and invisibly.
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King Oscar and Port Clyde. Two of the biggest names on Minnesota grocer shelves. This showdown pits the two products, one on one. May the best sardine win!
The loose criteria used to judge will be:
* consistency
* taste
* aftertaste
* aroma
* texture
* color
* burps
Sardines are generally repulsive and only a few people in the world actually enjoy them. I happen to be one of the idiots who not only enjoys sardines, I LOVE sardines and generally most types of potted meats.
I started with King Oscar. The King Oscar packaging was swell and featured King Oscar II of Norway. It also stated extra virgin olive oil. This aroused my curiosity immediately.
The sardines themselves were pretty small. There were double-stacked and were completely covered in olive oil. there were lots of sardines in the can and they were delicious. The texture was firm, but easily chewable with no bones or other crunchy anaomolies detected. The aroma was a sardine aroma and the fine silvery color of each glistening sardine was very pleasing.
A full hour after eating them and I could still detect the dreamy smells on my breath and the sense of a light sheen of oil lining my teeth.
On the Port Clyde!
The Port Clyde sardines were a mustard-based product. The sardines were larger and the mustard oil was a unique change from the olive oil. I have have mustard-based sardines in the past, but the Port Clyde sardines were just not as memorable as other sardines and they definitely did not stack up to King Oscar’s virgins.
The sardines themselves were sort of mushy and you couldn’t really see the fish themselves. It was as though the mustard sauce was being used to mask the quality of the sardines. The mustard sauce did not taste very good, and the aftertaste was not pleasant. Also, the burp factor was more of a Vurp factor (Vomit-Burp). I was able to choke the Vurp down again and I did not go into full reverse peristaltic action, but it was a test of wills.
After this taste test, King Oscar really is King!
If your only tool is a microwave, everything looks like a bag of popcorn.
If your only tool is a lever, everything looks like a fulcrum.
If your only tool is a Happy Meal, everything looks like a chubby 10-year-old.
If your only tool is a stapler, everything looks like a stack of papers.
If your only tool is the internet, everything looks like porn.
If your only tool is a flux capacitor, everything looks like a delorian.
If your only tool is a flashlight, everything looks like the dark.
Beware the ides of March he says. Well maybe in your lifetime Billy, but in my life I beware the ides of April more. Today is a day to be wary. Happy 420 all! And an unhappy anniversary of so much more. I have always heard 420 is the day it is because 420 is the police code for marijuana possession. But we must take the good with the bad I’m afraid so here’s a little list of what to remember to forget about today.
Do me favor, enjoy your holiday and forget what you’ve seen here today, but remember to be careful. And to smoke with a special friend today.
HAPPY 420!!!
I don’t want to bring down the level of the content here on 8&5. Unfortunately, and for reasons that I can’t begin to fathom, I feel compelled to post this video. For the sake of my conscience, though, I’m including a warning. Anyone with an aversion to 90’s action stars, stone-washed denim, or pup tents should look away.
“Sir, do you have a license to carry that?”
First some background:
I work in the eLearning department of a company and we often have subject matter experts (SME’s) from various other parts of the company come work in our area when they are working on training projects for their department. There’s a designated cube that they work in when they are here and it’s often empty, although I worked in it for a few months before they had a cube for me.
The other thing to understand is that almost everyone I work with is over 30, half are probably over 40. I work with several women with outdated hair styles, but the ones I enjoy the most are the Huge Puffy 80’s Metal Band styles. Partially because they are just so amusing to see, and also because they must be spending so much time every morning to look so behind the times…
The other day I noticed a new head of hair around the building, and now it’s in the SME Cube. This is no average Puffy head of hair, This is not only fluffy above the shoulders, but the fluff rolls down her back. I seriously haven’t even seen this women’s face, but this hair is just amazing.
Now I wouldn’t blog to tell you about a crazy 80’s Glam Rock Mullet. The thing that topped it all off is the fact that yesterday when I walked past her on the way to the bathroom, she was hunched over on an office chair, reaching under her desk to retrieve Nacho Cheese Doritos (regular, not baked) from a full size bag she has hidden in a royal blue rolling carry-on style suitcase. It looked like the suitcase was empty aside from that bag of Doritos. It was 10:30 in the morning.
It’s just one of those moments out of a Wes Anderson Movie. What is a worse Snack when you are working on a computer then Doritos? Cheetos? Not really.
Life in a Cubicle can be boring, but there’s some entertainment if you look hard enough.
I’m not proud of, nor do I plan to ever do this again, but because I find this women so entertaining, I took some Camera Phone Shots. It wasn’t an easy task, and the photos aren’t great, but here they are:
(Sorry these were actually taken on two different days, but that is the Same Hair)
Apparently UFO is SO last century…now we have to call them UAPs. Well, whatever. But it does seem that a dozen or so employees out at O’Hare witnessed a UAP event last November. The story is getting a little national coverage and some international, but not in the sense that it is being taken seriously.
For some reason, it’s hard to get taken seriously when you claim to have seen little green men. The FAA’s official statement delivered by Elizabeth Isham Cory discounted any suggestions of UFOs or UAPs:
That night was a perfect atmospheric condition in terms of low [cloud] ceiling and a lot of airport lights. When the lights shine up into the clouds, sometimes you can see funny things. That’s our take on it.
I wouldn’t go so far as to claim we are being observed by little green men, but I would go as far as to say I believe that it is likely that humans are not the most advanced carbon-based life form hurling through the universe.
If the world can be created in seven days who knows what else is possible? It wouldn’t surprise me that if there were a technologically advanced society observing humankind, they would certainly not attempt to make contact with a barbaric species that seems hell-bent on killing themselves off.
Oh, and according to SunriseSunset.com, the sun set at 4:39pm in Chicago on November 7, 2006 so technically, it was still daylight when the event occurred.
Those wacky BBC news shows are at it again. I bet Quentin got high too…
Drugs and Driving
Somebody got high. The results might surprise you.
On a semi-related note…the Supreme Court is taking up the “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” case.
If I had married Tea Leoni and starred in film and TV with Gillian Anderson, I would have the exact same problem. How many love children do you have David? - #
An 8n5 August Superbowl dream prediction: Packers vs. Jets, the Heir Apparent vs. the Air up There! - #
LCDs are getting cheaper, but this is a top-rated 22" monitor and is a sweet deal available at General Nanosystems in Minneapolis. I picked one up yesterday. (8/5) The sale is over! - #
World's first Tesla crash? Maybe... - #
This Wired commentary pretty much sums up the grind of an MMORPG. For me, the grind is a love/hate relationship. - #
The King is Dead. Maybe JT can bring spam back next! - #
