You have to wait until the end of this fairly entertaining video before you see Norm at his finest, worth every second.
Go vote for Frankin tonight! (love ya Robert, but there is too much at stake this time).
eightandfive is © the fine people who write these fine pieces. Some rights reserved.
You have to wait until the end of this fairly entertaining video before you see Norm at his finest, worth every second.
Go vote for Frankin tonight! (love ya Robert, but there is too much at stake this time).
The McCain campaign is currently mocking Obama by sending out “Obama Energy Plan” tire gauges to contributes. I suggest Obama also send out tire gauges to supporters. The tire gauges should read:
“Obama. Simple, common sense solutions to the mess republicans have gotten us into.”
Just an idea… not sure if it would fit on a tire gauge.
I just saw a the Gutherie’s newest production of Midsummer’s and (to get it out of the way early) I found it entertaining and well acted… however…
I understand that the whole play is a dream and that a fairy world can really get a set designer’s creative juices flowin’ but A GIANT MEATBALL? There was some argument among those I witnessed the production with that Titania’s automated-pacman-head-resembling dwelling was supposed to be a rock, albeit a perfectly spherical rock that with a rough (meaty) texture but I was not persuaded–it was a meatball.
Non-traditional settings are not uncommon in Shakespeare and I got over the meatball, I even found it entertaining. The singing however, was unforgivable. I have a rule of thumb with Shakespeare: One can cut or even add things to his plays if one desires but in the case of adding one must be replacing something else, as Shakespeare is not brief and one is not as good of a playwright as he was, the play get waaaay to long and boring. The songs were essentially Bill’s words repeated a few times to varying styles of music–and all were poorly done. There was one song that was obviously a 50s doo-wop parody and it was funny. I don’t think the rest were supposed to be parodies because the audience wasn’t laughing (although if someone would have started I’m sure others would have joined in (except for when Puck sang so terribly out of key that everyone just felt bad for him)). The worst of the music were the attempts (yes, more than once) at a hard rock/rap debacles sung by Oberon, they served to extend his monologues is such a way that everything he said/screamed was completely incomprehensible. He should have just done more of the spinning-rope-hanging-circue-du-soleil thing he’d obviously been practicing a whole lot.
There were a lot of BFA students acting in the show and I got the feeling that Joe Dowling had gotten in the habit of saying “YES!” to anything they suggested. This was really a problem with the mechanicals (which were very funny–but also very, very strange) from a random bit with a stuffed dog getting stepped on to a willingness to take the crossdressing humor to a racist extreme by having the adorable asian guy play Thisby and dressing him in both a school-girl out fit and a kimono.
I rarely don’t enjoy Shakespeare and this was no exception, so I encourage anyone to check it out but prepare for some strangeness. And seriously: What the Fuck?
Normal stores stuck on the ground, they strike me as mundane.
That’s why I choose to only shop from Skymall on a plane.
I’ve got a watch that sets itself with satellites in space
And glasses with a fifty inch TV for on my face.
My luggage is the kind preferred by golfers who are pro.
In my my pocket there’s a GPS to tell me where to go.
My grill at home’s accessorized with lights and other things,
Like a doodad on my belt that when my steak is done it dings.
A hanging upside down device keeps my back from getting sore
But when it is I’ve got a plastic stick to rub it more.
I have a toaster oven that’s designed by Wolfgang Puck
And an underwater vacuum–what an extraordinary suck!
My vest has weights. My pet-foods timed. My shoes have built in springs.
I’ve hundreds of alarm clocks, one shoots helicopter things.
There’s a device that’s made specifically to help me fall asleep,
A whooshing sound or waterfall, it sure beats counting sheep.
A stress reducing wrist band that needs a battery.
A pair of golfing glasses make my balls easy to see.
My bike fits in a back-pack1 that I wear when I can’t ride
Like when I walk to aerate my lawn with spikes on my shoes outside.
Speaking of lawns mine’s always well lit for my lights have solar powers.
The sun also charges a vibrating thingy that keeps the moles out of my flowers.
The walk to my house has a gazing ball that’s twenty-three inches and glows
And you can’t tell how I water my grass ’cause a flower pot hides my hose.
I’ve got a step to help my dog get up into my bed,
A gate to keep him from the kitchen, an urn for when he’s dead2.
My golf cart looks like an Escalade1, it cost me twenty grand.
There are hanging seats I hook on my truck, when I tailgate I don’t have to stand.
For my wife I’ve gotten a lot of things like roses dipped in gold,
and her make up mirror has a light so she won’t look so old.
The largest crossword in the world, the smallest helicopter too.
A Star Wars traveling battleship game and litter robot for poo.
A robot shark and floating black jack game–My pool is full of shit!
A little boat that brings the drinks to the chair in which I sit.
Theft is no concern of mine. I’ve cameras all around
And a folding ladder just in case my house is burning down.
There’s a spot on my mantle for Harry’s wand and other wizard things.
I’ve also a copy of Frodo’s sword ’cause he’s the Lord of the Rings!
There are handles for my toilet so I don’t fall down when I poop
And life is so much easier with a heated ice-cream scoop.
A robot Elvis talks to me and sings at my command.
Oxidation I fear not with my rustproof towel stand1.
Believe you me, I’ve got more things, this list is only some
But my plane is boarding. I’ve got to fly! SKYMALL HERE I COME!
1 This used to be in skymall I swear… they must have stopped selling it.
2 Not actually sold by skymall… slackers.
I’ve been playing Rock Band for a few weeks now and I’ve concluded that it’s a great social game. However, it could be improved. Here’s how:
1 Multiple instrument support. If a song has two percussionists we should be able to use two drum sets. Same for two guitar songs and especially for backing vocals.
2 Different peripheral support. I don’t just mean the keyboard device. I want dance pad support for dancers. Light gun support for security, it could be a taser to keep the crowd from rushing the stage. Camera support for gratuitous groupie flashing. Rob the Video Robot support for… well… I don’t know but you get the idea.
3 More diverse music. After looking at many of the forums about the downloadable content for Rock Band I’ve determined that I’m the only person on earth excited for the Grateful Dead pack (all 18 songs–I’d even take different live versions of each). I still want more diverse stuff though. Especially the BEATLES. I want every song recorded by the Beatles. They could be released chronologically, a couple songs at a time or as one giant pack… whatever, just give me every Beatles song.
My experience with the Xbox 360
About two weeks ago I received an Xbox 360 for my birthday from my wife. She did a lot of research and got a really good deal on a refurbished machine with an extra controller and a copy of Halo 3. Now, I know that 360s are notoriously unreliable and one might immediately assume getting a refurbished machine is a bad idea, but the reduced cost and the supposed elimination of the red-ring-of-death problem (that’s what they refurbish) made it seem like a good idea.
Once opened I immediately activated Xbox live and went to a store to pick up a game with the 25$ gift card that some friends had given me. I expected to get Gears of War or Crackdown because they’ve been out for a year–I was wrong. The used version of each was pushing 50$ which I found astonishing. It turns out that triple-A 360 titles are holding their value as much as triple-A Nintendo titles (go try to find a used copy of Smash Bros or Mario Kart). The only good game that I could afford was Dead Rising by Capcom. I think it was a launch title and it was still 30$ so I had to pay a little. I’d never played the game before but I know it reviewed well and I trust Capcom with zombies. The game turned out to be great (lawn mower + zombies = awesome), I had a fellow eightandfiver over and we played passing the controller. We also played a little halo but the game isn’t that good to watch and my wife was playing with us and wasn’t a big Halo fan. We actually ended the night playing Super Mario 3 that was just made available on the virtual console–score one for the Wii.
Within the next week I had gotten Bioshock and Orange Box through game fly. I also had Gears of War briefly but there were too many new games to play before I went through the catalog. I sent it back and got Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles (another good Capcom game, this time for the wii, also with zombies). I also managed to throw down a reservation for Rock Band that involved trading in an assload of games to get to the $160 and the last 360 reservation available at the GameStop I shop at.
Bioshock was great, although with Orange Box I had trouble committing to it, I’m sure the significant other and I will get around to it at some point. I put a lot of time into portal and even started replaying Half-Life 2. Damn these are great games. I had trouble playing team fortress 2 because all my multi-player time was going to Halo 3 (also a great game). I really felt like I had in the heyday of the PS2 when we had just tons of great stuff all at the same time (GTA, SSX, Burnout, Katamari…). I was in heaven—and it was during a game of portal just after I got the weighted companion cube that my 360 froze for the first time.
I restarted and started to play Half-Life 2 and got pretty far when it froze again (thank god for tons of auto saves). This time when I restarted the 360 it was flashing red. It was the standard red-ring-of-death that a refurbished Xbox isn’t supposed to get. I know this because the towel trick worked. The problem lies in some solders that fail to connect. The towel trick involves wrapping the console in a towel to deliberately overheat it so the solder expands and connects again. A temporary fix at best.
The real downer was that the next day I got to pick up Rock Band and then leave the house and spend thanksgiving in North Carolina (where I had a marvelous time). I got back on Sunday ready to try the 360 again, with the towel trick if need be, to finally get to try out the killer rock band drums… I couldn’t get past the title screen.
I managed to get a hold of the company that refurbished it and get a return authorization. They were really responsive and allowed me to keep the hard drive and all other accessories. The system is currently in transit to them, they’ve assured me they have a quick turnaround time and that they’ll mail off another system within a day of receiving mine.
I hope I get it soon. I’m afraid my weighted companion cube is going to miss me.
Last night Super Smash Bros Melee was revealed to have Sonic in it. Which is super cool, but really not the best news to come out of Nintendo yesterday. The great news is that Capcom’s Monster Hunter franchise is coming. This is the best selling game in Japan at the moment and I love this game. I’ve played it on PS2 and PSP and it’s really a blast. At it’s core it’s a multi player game where people team up to go and hunt monsters all the while collecting loot and leveling up. With a decent wii interface and strong online play this could be the break out third-party hit that the wii needs to be considered a real console as opposed to something that’s aimed at my grandma and the 43 people who still think Metroid is a good game.
Here’s some of the sugar that this iteration of Super Smash will be packing: Apart from Sonic there will be Solid Snake and his box (mangina?) and pit (better known as Kid Icarus). Every other character that appeared in the series is expected back, even the ice-climbers. I expect we’ll see a few more sonic additions like Tails and Robotnik. There is a Pokemon trainer now which has the three starters in their evolved forms from Pearl/Diamond that the player can switch between. The online play sounds very robust. There is the standard friend code stuff but also random matches. There is a sort of ranking system and a tournament mode which allows up to 32 people to take part in a standard bracketed tournament either on or offline. It takes the winners and moves them up to the next round until the winner is determined. There’s also a cooperative (up to two players) beat ‘em up side-scroller called the “Subspace Embassy” complete with bosses and lots of meta-story to justify all of the characters participation. I can’t wait.
Girl Talk. Download - pay what you can. - #
Phish reunites to tour in 2009. - #
Here's a helpful and depressing tutorial on the current financial crapstorm, in cartoon form. I'm having a hard time figuring out who did the video, but it was linked to on Cosmic Variance. - #
MoveOn.org is giving away free Obama buttons. Almost 2 million ordered so far. - #
If I had married Tea Leoni and starred in film and TV with Gillian Anderson, I would have the exact same problem. How many love children do you have David? - #
