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Free Prince!

Posted by bongo on June 29th

Read More: Breaking News, Music

Now that Prince has decided to give away a free CD we know what really drives the music industry to terrorize the public.

For years, the Recording Industry has trumpeted that they are protecting the rights of the artists and helping them get the money they rightfully earned through hard work, professionalism and dedication to their craft. The Recording Industry has been so successful in promoting this message that they even have the FBI placing warnings on CD to threaten consumers with fines and jail - even though they are supposed to be focusing efforts on combating terrorism (as told to me when I went to the FBI seeking help with a problem).

So why would the Recording industry care if Prince wants to give away his CDs?

What is it they are outraged about now?

Prince is the copyright holder. He should be able to do what he pleases with his music.

The Entertainment Retailer’s Association said,

It would be an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career.

What kind of B.S. is that? Don’t they recall Emancipation? That very album’s existence is Prince’s snubbing of the Recording Industry as he set himself free. It should come as no surprise that Prince is willing to give away free CDs as a way of again flipping the bird to the Recording Industry greed vultures.

Lest we forget…he had been known as a symbol and was referred to by the media as TAFKAP for a period of time. This was a protest to Warner Brother’s trademarking his birth name.

Bravo Prince! Prince’s free CD offer reminds the world that the Recording Industry lawyers are not really there to protect the rights of artists. The sole purpose of the Recording Industry Association of America and other nefarious organizations of their ilk is to protect the flow of dollars to the coffers of the copyright holders.

May they all burn in hell.

Calling out Coulter

Posted by bongo on June 27th
Read More: Politics, Pop-Culture, Breaking News, neocons

This week on Hardball with Chris Matthews, Elizabeth Edwards called in and asked Ann Coulter to focus on the issues instead of reducing politics to personal attacks. Not only did Ann Coulter decline to acquiesce to Elizibeth’s request, but she couldn’t even attempt to debate anything with Elizabeth. Instead, Ann just went to her “talking points” and repeated standard neocon and Republican smear tactics to try to distract from what could really be an actual debate of issues. The Republican smear campaigns will never stop.

When politely asked to refrain from her personal vendetta, Ann wouldn’t even acknowledge her history. Ann’s failure to recognize her loathsome behavior reinforces what she really is: a Punditainer. Coulter is one who only cares about the issues insomuch as it will improve her ratings and make her paycheck fatter.

If she were a serious political pundit, one might actually value her opinion and possibly even agree with some of her talking points. But she is not serious about anything real. She is merely a mouthpiece to energize the base.

When confronted with reality, with a one on one questions from a fellow citizen, she simply went back into attack mode and did what all good little Republicans do: Smear! Smear! Smear!

Shame on you Ann Coulter. Keep selling your soul. Old Scratch is waiting!

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Sardine Showdown

Posted by bongo on June 25th
Read More: Mixed Nuts, Large Gathering of Idiots, KGB, Red Herring

King Oscar and Port Clyde. Two of the biggest names on Minnesota grocer shelves. This showdown pits the two products, one on one. May the best sardine win!

The loose criteria used to judge will be:


* consistency
* taste
* aftertaste
* aroma
* texture
* color
* burps

Sardines are generally repulsive and only a few people in the world actually enjoy them. I happen to be one of the idiots who not only enjoys sardines, I LOVE sardines and generally most types of potted meats.

I started with King Oscar. The King Oscar packaging was swell and featured King Oscar II of Norway. It also stated extra virgin olive oil. This aroused my curiosity immediately.

The sardines themselves were pretty small. There were double-stacked and were completely covered in olive oil. there were lots of sardines in the can and they were delicious. The texture was firm, but easily chewable with no bones or other crunchy anaomolies detected. The aroma was a sardine aroma and the fine silvery color of each glistening sardine was very pleasing.

A full hour after eating them and I could still detect the dreamy smells on my breath and the sense of a light sheen of oil lining my teeth.

On the Port Clyde!

The Port Clyde sardines were a mustard-based product. The sardines were larger and the mustard oil was a unique change from the olive oil. I have have mustard-based sardines in the past, but the Port Clyde sardines were just not as memorable as other sardines and they definitely did not stack up to King Oscar’s virgins.

The sardines themselves were sort of mushy and you couldn’t really see the fish themselves. It was as though the mustard sauce was being used to mask the quality of the sardines. The mustard sauce did not taste very good, and the aftertaste was not pleasant. Also, the burp factor was more of a Vurp factor (Vomit-Burp). I was able to choke the Vurp down again and I did not go into full reverse peristaltic action, but it was a test of wills.

After this taste test, King Oscar really is King!

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Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em!

Posted by bongo on June 18th
Read More: Ask EightAndFive, Rhetorical Questions

Smokin'The guy in the cubicle next to me is a smoker. I have never seen him smoke. But I know he is. He is around fifty and he often sounds like he can’t catch his breath. He is not overweight and looks to be in pretty good shape. Maybe he has asthma. But asthma doesn’t smell like cigarette smoke. He does. His wheezing and coughing is a constant reminder to me of why I stopped smoking. I didn’t stop smoking because I didn’t enjoy it. I did. Smoking was great. Many of my friends did it. It was a shared enjoyable experience. The losers who didn’t smoke always stayed inside breathing their damn clean air and hogging the beer.

It’s been nearly a decade since I quit smoking.

I have touched my lips to a cigarette - I have even lit one up but I did my best Bill Clinton and I didn’t inhale. Really!

I never really noticed the long-term effects of smoking because most of the smokers I know are young. This is the one of the few hard-core smokers I have actually had to work next to. (The other one got cancer and retired for medical reasons.)

He has coughing spasms.

He horks up loogies.

He sometimes wheezes loudly for no reason.

I am glad I quit smoking.

Do any 8n5ers have any thoughts of quitting smoking? Or, do any 8n5ers have any reasons for NOT quitting smoking?

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If your only tool is a screwdriver, everything looks like a screw.

Posted by Oscar on June 14th
Read More: Arbitrary conclusions, Mixed Nuts, Poetry, Fast Food, Tools

screwdriver.jpgIf your only tool is a microwave, everything looks like a bag of popcorn.

If your only tool is a lever, everything looks like a fulcrum.

If your only tool is a Happy Meal, everything looks like a chubby 10-year-old.

If your only tool is a stapler, everything looks like a stack of papers.

If your only tool is the internet, everything looks like porn.

If your only tool is a flux capacitor, everything looks like a delorian.

If your only tool is a flashlight, everything looks like the dark.

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Life is Fucking Great in America When You Are Rich

Posted by Czech Air on June 7th
Read More: Depressing

Our system is so fucking great, isn’t it? Where’s the outrage?

Paris Released

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Is Military Intelligence an oxymoron?

Posted by bongo on June 4th
Read More: Breaking News, War

People often use the term “Military Intelligence” as a fine examples of an oxymoron. Then they start talking about $500 toilet seats and $100 screwdrivers.

Let’s chalk one up to Military Intelligence today though.

Army Col. Peter Brownback tossed out the case against Omar Khadr. Col. Brownback’s courageous ruling throws the whole puppet tribunal put in place by the Bush Administration into chaos.

Everyone in the world knew that Bush was running a wretched scam, but Col. Brownback is one of the only active duty military personell to openly reject the Bush Administration’s broken foreign policies.

It is about time.

I want to see justice for all war criminals, but I want to see REAL justice.

Not just rulings imposed by a puppet tribunal installed to carry out the whims of the Bush Administration.

With an open snub to the accepted Gitmo practices put in place by the Bush Administration Col. Brownback may have just ended his Army career, but at least he did it knowing he made a just ruling.

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If I had married Tea Leoni and starred in film and TV with Gillian Anderson, I would have the exact same problem. How many love children do you have David? - #

An 8n5 August Superbowl dream prediction: Packers vs. Jets, the Heir Apparent vs. the Air up There! - #

LCDs are getting cheaper, but this is a top-rated 22" monitor and is a sweet deal available at General Nanosystems in Minneapolis. I picked one up yesterday. (8/5) The sale is over! - #

World's first Tesla crash? Maybe... - #

This Wired commentary pretty much sums up the grind of an MMORPG. For me, the grind is a love/hate relationship. - #

The King is Dead. Maybe JT can bring spam back next! - #