18 Things you won’t see on a billboard: #1 Your Parents Chose Sex. Shouldn’t You?

While driving through South Dakota recently I was struck by the amount of pro-god, anti-abortion and pro-abstinence signs. The person driving with me and I started talking about how best to combat this sort of religious propaganda. We decided that a billboard campaign mirroring the existing campaigns would be best. Following are the anti-abstinence ads we came up with. Some are modeled after the signed-by-god billboards, some after the anti-abortion signs we encountered and some we just thought would make good billboards. The following text is not safe for work.

Imagine coming across these billboards next time you drive through the bible belt:

1. Your parents chose sex. Shouldn’t you?
2. Abstinence sucks. –God
3. Everyday somebody dies a virgin.
4. I’m proud of your last orgasm. –God
5. Abstinence prevents a beating heart.
6. Making babies is cool. –God
7. Do you like to look at naked people? Thank you. –God
8. Stressed? Fuck. –God
9. After healing lepers, nothing beats a good screw. –Jesus
10. Make a joyful noise when you come. –God
11. Abstinence is murder.
12. Do others as they do you. –Jesus
13. DVDA! –God
14. Someone wants to have sex with you. –God
15. Put your pointy bits into each other. –God
16. After a shower a rim job can be fun. –Jesus
17. If I didn’t want you to have sex I wouldn’t have given you a cock. –God
18. I don’t exist. –God (not abstinence related, I just thought it was funny)