The Onion Re-Designed: How To Quickly Induce Retinal Detachment

The Onion unleashed a new site design with their current issue, and the result (on the front page, at least) is one of the more painful browsing experience I’ve had. Check it out - they have not two, not three, but FIVE columns to peruse, each packed with either text or advertisements. There’s hardly a blank space, which makes the fact that you still have to scroll for a minute and a half to scan the page all the more remarkable (FIVE columns!). It’s one thing if you’re the Wall Street Journal trying to scrimp on printing costs, but when scanning fifty hilarious-as-usual headlines all packed into a tiny area, I felt a strange sense of nervousness, wondering which link to click first. It’s like having fifty people tell you a joke at the same time, all while a midget hobo sits on your face. You gotta let me breathe. Love the site, guys, hate the new front page.