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Snake! Snake! Snake!

Posted by bongo on July 17th

Read More: Pop-Culture, Video Games, Cute, Large Gathering of Idiots

This is about two minutes long. If anyone knows any of the history of this stunt, feel free to post. If not, just enjoy the vid!

Jedi Fanboi vs. Noob!

Posted by bongo on July 7th
Read More: Pop-Culture, Video Games, Wii, PS3, Xbox 360

STFU!There is an odd line in the game review of Star Wars: the Force Unleashed over at the Wired.com blog. The author states,
“I don’t know much about Star Wars.”

I was taken aback. How the hell could they expect someone who is a self-admitted Star Wars Noob review this game? Are they seriously suggesting that it is OK for some jerk who doesn’t care about Star Wars to get a copy in advance, and then gets to offer opinions to the world on the game?

Oh hell no. That is not a good idea, that is a slap in the face.

Am I fanboi? Probably. But whether or not I am doesn’t matter. What does matter is some flippant jerk got to review this game for the entire world and he doesn’t really give two-cents about the Star Wars fanbois across the globe!

I am also a Lucas Arts fanboi. I have played a variety of games from back in the 1990s up until now. I have several opinions about the good, the bad, and the laggy. I have opinions about why some games were better than others, and why I skipped some titles altogether. (Mostly drunkenness).

I don’t generally flame how a company decides to do business, but the Star Wars franchise is just that, a franchise. Even if they secretly mock us behind closed doors while sipping latte and eating their granola bars, they could at least assign this gaming topic to someone who has at least a little consideration for the fanbois. That would be far, far better than some fly-by-night hack who can’t tell a Wookie from a Wendigo.

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Soviet Nuclear Technology Produces Perfect Sphere

Posted by bongo on July 1st
Read More: Science

Balls!The kilogram has been a standard for over a century now. While some countries are reluctant to adopt it (along with the entire metric system) as a standard, scientists in the U.S along with scientists in Italy, Belgium, and Japan will be trying to calculate the exact number of atoms in recently created spheres designed as an effort to redefine the kilogram.

While there are a ton of testicular jokes one could make about the international scientific community working together to create a perfect set of balls, it is refreshing that old nuclear technology can be adapted for peaceful endeavors instead of being stashed away for some future war. The article goes on to state that a measure of energy would produce the most accurate result for a kilogram and is a brief but interesting read.

Drive on dear scientists! The world needs you!

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Dropping a St. Paul Landmark

Posted by bongo on June 28th
Read More: Mixed Nuts

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New Tunez!: The Cool Kids

Posted by nikki on June 18th
Read More: Music

This is a great album that I think a lot of 8&5ers might appreciate. It’s incredibly catchy. It’s getting a lot of play on my iPod these days, and I’m sure I look like an idiot, grooving out in grocery stores and wherenot to beats that nobody else can hear. But you know what? It’s worth it. You can get a sampling on their official website. I got my copy off emusic.

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Gmail Users: New (Beta) ‘Experimental Features’ Available

Posted by justin on June 6th
Read More: Ask EightAndFive

Gmail LabsI loves me my gmail. Now the goog is testing out some new features, and allowing all users to participate. TechCrunch has a detailed rundown here, but all you really need to know is there is now a new tab on the settings bar, “Labs.” From here you can enable new beta features that will possibly become fully functional gmail features in the future (largely based on user response). New ExFeats® ™ (my nonsensical-sounding invented name for this that I just created here and now, beware my wrath Google) are expected to be added somewhat regularly.

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Legislating Happiness: Why?

Posted by bongo on June 4th
Read More: Politics, Religion, Breaking News

States like Massachusetts, California and New York have begun reluctantly allowing folks to seek a gay marriage. This is an outrage! There is no reason for these states, or any states, to force an expectation of happiness onto any bickering couple of disgruntled partners. If people want to despise each other, if they insist on hating, then by all means, it is their God-given right to loathe their very existence!

Passing legislation mandating joy and happiness is beyond comprehension. Just because it’s in the constitution doesn’t make it any more right! Even if everyone on earth were married there would be only a handful of couples who would declare their marriage to be gay.

The rest of us? We’d be working on the honey-do list…or working to avoid it! By definition, the very nature of settling down with one other living creature for the remainder of our lives is flawed. Wolves seem to practice serial monogamy. But only you and me - FOREVER!? It’s madness. It’s a bad song from the 50s. It is fitting that in the animal kingdom only a vicious species of wild canine are one of the few examples of monogamy. I doubt that they are happily monogamous. It is likely that their monogamy is what drives their viciousness.

There is no such thing as a gay marriage. You can legislate all you want, you simply cannot people to be happy! By definition, once you are married, there is no happiness. There is no joy. In the end, your only joy from the imprisonment of marriage is the silent release of death. Once you are released from your earthly bondage, any happiness you were forced to enjoy through legislation won’t matter anyway.

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Great tits cope well with warming.

Posted by nikki on May 10th
Read More: Funny, Arbitrary conclusions, Breaking News

Best headline ever.

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SNL Poop Jokes

Posted by bongo on May 6th
Read More: Pop-Culture

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Tracey Ullman as Arianna Huffington

Posted by nikki on April 24th
Read More: Politics, Funny, The Internets, Blogs

My favorite part of Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union is her Arianna Huffington impression. Here’s a clip from the first episode, and it only gets funnier. Blogs and kisses!

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McCain marriage to same-sex partner discovered to be illegal in state of Virginia. Penelopsky Goldberry, your country needs you! - #

It's download day! I can't clearly find the Firefox download links and their website is acting odd. Here are direct links: Windows - Mac OS - Linux. - #

I kind of want to run out and buy the Wii Fit, but I'm not sure I want to fork over the dough for another Nintendo peripheral. Any eightandfiver's have it and want to weigh in? No pun intended. - #

Wasting Away Again in the Parking Lot, ROCK BAND style! Download the Buffett Tracks, rock out in the parking lot and make the big screen at a Buffett concert! - #